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2023 november 28
- My 2024 Nijmegen Zevenheuvelenloop
“奈梅亨七峰路跑” 是荷蘭有名的楓紅賽道的超大比賽. 兩萬人是多少人呢? 我爸媽來自美麗的花蓮鳳林鎮. 兩萬人就差不多是把兩個鳳林鎮人口集合起來.這比賽是十五公里. 最後的五公里, 真得好累了!
以前曾看過一個馬拉松跑者的經驗談: 把每一公里, “獻給某個人”, 或許就可以讓心思不要一直停留在疲累!看到已進入十公里, 我心中第一個浮現的就是: 這第十一公里要獻給去世的爸爸. 第十二公里, 獻給我的跑步好友 Laura. 因為,我們一起渡過很多快樂的林間跑步時光. 到了最後一里路, 路旁人的狂叫加油聲浪, 跟本讓人沒時間去想要獻給谁.
心中想的只是: 跑!跑!跑!
Why particpant a running eveng? Because this person want to get high from the crowd move, and get healthy.
Can a person earn lving from do a running race?
I have no answer, but I do know, after the race , I feel, I get a kick , quite simular to get religion enlightment.19 Nov. That is this 15 K race day in Nijmengen. 20,000 runners. Quite a big event. A lof of beautiful scene in the forest.
1 hour 35 min for this race. Satisfied.
Running is more than put one foot in front of the other. Painting is more than put yellow, red, blue paint on the canvas or paper.
It is because we want to connect to people, to the enviorment.
2023 november 10
*Let op! Nederlandse tekst hieronder. ………….. *Attention! English text below.
生日快樂 跑步萬歲 Happy Birthday, Coach!
我只能說: 教練 生日快樂 跑步 萬歲 萬萬歲 !
Is dit een prijsuitreiking, of geef ik een cadeau?
Dit is mijn schilderij; hij (Herman Holterman) was vijftien jaar lang mijn hardloopcoach. Het is zijn 70e verjaardag. Dit grote schilderij heb ik zorgvuldig bij hem thuis afgeleverd. Waarom zo’n groot cadeau? Hardlopen heeft me een leven lang geluk gebracht, en dat wil ik graag teruggeven. Dank aan God voor de goede dagen? Dank aan de gemeente voor het verstrekken van wegen om op te rennen? Dank aan mijn ouders voor het geven van de hardloopgenen? Hoewel hardlopen een biomechanische beweging is waarbij je je voeten optilt; De afgelopen vijftien jaar heb ik geleerd dat het uiteindelijk een proces is van leren omgaan met anderen en luisteren naar de stem van je eigen lichaam. Coach Herman is zeventig, maar door de jaren heen, regen of zonneschijn, of zware sneeuwval, heeft hij de verzamelplaats en groepsdetails gecoördineerd. Het enige wat ik kan zeggen is: Coach, gelukkige verjaardag! Lang leve het hardlopen. Lang leve het hardlopen!
Is this an awards ceremony, Or I am giving a gift?
This is my painting; he (Herman Holterman) was my running coach for fifteen years. It’s his 70th birthday. I carefully delivered this large painting to his home. Why such a big gift? Running has given me a lifetime of happiness, and I want to give back. Thank God for giving me good days? Thanks to the city government for providing roads to run on? Thanks to my parents for giving me the running genes? Though running is just the act of lifting your feet, after fifteen years, it has taught me that , it’s a process of learning to live with others and listening to the sound of my own body. Coach Herman is now seventy, but over the years, rain or shine, or heavy snow, he has coordinated the meeting points and group details. All I can say is: Coach, happy birthday! Long live running, forever and ever!
2021 january 01
上週拜訪好友. “驚豔”! 我的一幅大素描, 他放入口. 我的畫讓整個玄關大氣起來. 他的庭園與大門, 也讓這個作品的原始筆觸有更開闊的氧氣! 有時, 我也會問自己, “人世間為什麼需要繪畫? ” 唉, 脽叫 “人類”是個有夢想的動物呵. 繪畫讓 [一些文字說不清的]* 思想解放…..
【Art is a team 】
Visited my friend last week. Front door opened, a huge and impressive sketch hanging in the entrance. Oh, that is my drawing work! He purchased it some years ago. Big drawing, good location .I don’t know how often does this paper drawing shock their visitors and the package koeriers? However, at that moment, suddenly I got an answer for a question . Sometimes, I would ask myself, “In this real world, why do we need paintings ?” Yes, “human” is an animal with dreams. In a real world, we may not be capable to reach our goal, our wish. Thanks to the form of art, some undescribable lonely hearts are heated up. Some good art just can have the power to let you feel, it is not bad to live.
2020 september 07
【 I Love to Paint Monk. 】我的水彩畫: 婚禮上的年輕僧侶
My watercolor : Cambodian Young Monks in Wedding
Have lived in Cambodian about 2 years. Fascinated by the monks colorful folded dress.
The right one is done in a good Japanese paper. This quality of paper can make bright color brighter, depict the detail very well. The left one is more like for practice paper.
右側的紙很好, 可以使明亮的顏色更明亮，可以把細節描繪處理。 左邊的更像是練習紙。
2019 september 16
“到法國告別與相聚 ”
To Say Goodbye and Reunion at a Funeral, Lille,France
收到嫂嫂電話, 他們八十七歲法國舅媽茉妮克過世. 這次,輪到我先生與我代表荷蘭親戚, 長途旅行去法國里爾(Lille) 參加長輩的喪禮.
在荷蘭住下這多年來, 參加經歷了幾場告別式. 但到法國出席告別式還是第一次, 心中很是好奇. 舅媽的大女兒 M,在巴黎電視台擔任懸疑偵探的編劇. 五年前, 我們與她在巴黎小茶館相見 ,很高興地聊了兩個鐘頭. 可能因工作圈關係, 她那種國際都會人的沈穩智慧 ,與適切的尊重隱私距離, 是我對這大我三歲, 遠房法國表姐的印象.
如今, 即將跨過國界, 從荷蘭出發, 穿過比利時, 進入法國. 在高溫三十四度的盛夏, 搭火車旅行九小時. 我心中有預感, 行頭配件的得體性, 與行李簡約打包,會是極大的考驗.
我們這次遠行是領『公費』出差！公公婆婆去世前, 留下一筆『家族基金』供我們這代, 輪流出席, 分散加拿大, 美國與法國長輩的喪禮.
既然,是『臺裔駐荷家族』代表身分出席,我不能因不懂他們的習俗丟自己的臉, 更不能把荷蘭這邊家人也陪進去.
出發前一天, 我們仔細做個衣飾整體造型的檢視. 萬萬沒想到, 我差一點『栽』在, 一個法國天主教喪禮女性出席者不能輕忽的要件：手提包包！
我先生鎖眉：『這個包包一眼就可被看出是, 便宜店的貨. 不行！』『 那個包包質料好, 但跟衣服不搭,不行！』開始時, 還以為, 是他小提大作, 不以為意.
等他說：『十幾年來, 當我們逛百貨公司, 看到好設計的手提包時, 我就常常嚴重警告過你, 如果到出席法國那邊的喪禮, 那種東西是很重要的！ 』這時, 我像大夢醒來, 火急衝到閣樓. 把那些當年被迫買的, 跟本很少用的包包, 找出來配衣服.
當天, 教堂告別式很溫馨, 許多舅媽生前的鄰居也來了. 果然是, 法國天主教喪禮. 真心送別的濃濃感傷之外, 可以看出, 大家的手提包, 是經過細心挑選! 這是對教堂空間的尊重, 也是對往生者最後告別儀式, 對自己的尊重.
畢竟, 這裡是法國. 這是天主教喪禮.
整個告別過程分三個地點：首先是在教堂, 莊嚴. 大約六十人. 接下, 近三十親戚一起驅車到火葬告別堂. 在這裡, 是情緒泄奔的地點. 當我們等『前一檔』 儀式結束時, 遠遠地, 看到有人軟軟地『塌』下來. 天人永別, 真得就在此時此地！
火葬告別堂外, 風好大. 我心頭浮上, 在花女高中國文課唸到那段袁枚忌妹文:『當時雖觭夢幻想，寧知此為歸骨所耶？… 紙灰飛揚，朔風野大，….猶屢屢回頭望汝也。…』
最後, 轉往法國高檔餐廳. 在這裡, 整個集體情緒, 進如出神入化的完美篇章. 在美味佳酒的輔助下, 大家走動閑聊, 真像派對! 席上十七人, 除了舅媽茉妮克的看護女士住里爾市, 其他家族成員, 不是都要在用餐後搭火車回家, 不然就是在隔天後回荷蘭, 巴黎 ,大溪地…. 大家真得是千里佻佻來相聚.
告別, 是為了要走更遠的路. 我們因往生者而結了這次緣. 不知為什麼 , 想起這場盛夏喪禮的點點滴滴, 有時我會微笑, 眼眶也會有點潤.
或許,成功的喪禮會讓還沒死的人股起『我會活得好』的動力！
但什么又是『失敗』的喪禮呢？
“世怡,很高興你找到回家的路!”
我的 ”花蓮在地文學作家圖像展”
展覽主要在花蓮市文復路的縣立圖書館,並也同步在花蓮縣13個鄉鎮圖書館同步展出.
壹 與我的故鄉往事談心
半年前,花蓮文化局與我聯繫. 他們辦 “花蓮在地作家圖像展”也好幾屆了. 2013年起,讓花蓮人為榮的 王禎和, 是第一屆. 這系列已辦展了楊牧,陳義芝,陳雨航等20位花蓮作家.
透過國立台灣文學館的台灣作家作品目錄系統, 他們要以我為主題,在2018冬末到2019初春間辦展.
一開始, 我先”自己批判”,自己在這系列展的”正當性”!
我是花蓮人嗎? 這是無庸質疑的. 土生土長, 我一路唸到花蓮女中才到台灣西部，可以說是吃花蓮米長大. 小學五年級前,住在花蓮博愛街鐵路局宿舍, 與鄰居小孩去海邊看日出撿石頭，是最快樂的童年往事. 花蓮女中位在海邊,站在太平洋海岸,眺望無邊的水平面, 如果我的徬徨少年青春夢,少了花蓮太平洋岸的朵朵浪花,與激情浪頭,簡直會空白得無法想像.
我是作家嗎?
回想起來,我的”當上作家的第一次”,其實是以害怕開場,故事起伏是有點讓人哭笑不得. 那年我高二, 在家父循循善誘,”唸理工,以後好找工作”, 我也乖乖選自然組讀. 但,怪就怪在花蓮的海邊太誘人了.我寫了篇”讓我們看海去”的詩,便往當時很有名, 賣電鍋電視的大同公司附屬的一個文學雜誌出版品投稿去.
當心血結晶變成鉛字，我快樂狂喜心情只維持幾分鐘,接下來的反應是:”我一定得把這本雜誌藏好,不能被家人看到!”唸理工科的姊姊一定會取笑我,肉麻當情趣,寫這種文謅謅,又風花雪月的肉麻東西!可以想像,父母應該也會很生氣,罵我又在亂浪費時間. 拿著當上作家的第一次作品,我恐懼得有如剛犯案的殺人犯,一心只想把我不小心當上作家的證物藏好!
過了幾週,家父暴跳如雷拿著一張郵政匯款單大聲斥罵我;”說!怎麼會有男生寄錢給你!”我嚇得大腦一片空白,因為是第一次投稿就被豋，當時也不知道有稿費這事, 只有害怕不解地說:”不認識這人,不知道.”
家父怒氣衝衝寫下”來歷不明,退回”,把匯款單與信封退回. 等那位無辜的男姓編輯來函說明,這是稿費. 我不要臉地寫詩, 被豋出的”醜聞”也成了飯桌上的笑柄!
出國唸書後,我對中文有種飢渴. 回台後,一股氣以散文方式寫四本. 那種心情與十七歲寫詩有點像, 就像是”不寫會死”.
40年過去, 半個地球遠,花蓮的文化局找到我辦這展,對看我而言,這好像頒給我” 作家”的身份證. 策展期間,林懷民先生看了我所寫的,很快稍來一封電子郵件,開頭那句:” “世怡,很高興你找到回家的路!” 讓我宛如看到他, 入世頑皮,大智慧的嘴角淺笑.
1997年間,林懷民先生為我那本有關柬埔寨吳哥窟一書寫推薦文.他知道我的文字,也知道像我這種人的穴門.家在哪?家變了嗎? 你變了嗎?要回那個家? 回家的路有幾條?….不論要用什麼禪味思考解讀他那句話,”開心兩字是我們當下對彼此,對自己的祝福.
以下就是我為展覽看板,
與故鄉談心的”文學與我”:
貳 文學與我
我是台灣花蓮客家人. 往上推, 廣東梅縣是我們徐家的源頭. 我的祖父母從苗栗頭份移居到花蓮. 鳳林,光復,豐田…..這些美麗的地方,有我許多的親戚.
家中三姊妹, 我的大姊是當年以榜首考進花蓮女中的榜首. 我們算是”很會唸書的那一家”. 基於”唸自然組理工科,以後比較好找工作”, 我傻傻地從成大都市計劃系用功到第一名畢業. 因為喜歡爬山, 在營建署玉山國家公園管理處當兩年委任技士. 往高山鄉野” 出差” 是我最高興的
“差事”. 城鄉廣面經驗刺激我, 對台灣社會現象產生更多疑惑. 當時台大城鄉所看來好像可以提供思考的土壤, 兩年學術訓練下來,答案不一定找到, 但多少是添些人文面向看事情.
在比利時魯汶大學唸第二個碩士時, 我從魯汶通車去布魯塞爾上法文課, 魯汶大學本身也有法文進修班, 但布魯塞爾畢竟是國際城市, 同班裡有跨國公司大老闆夫人, 也有各地來的國際難民, 加上老師上課很活, 發給我們很有趣的法文家庭作業, 我發現我愛上作文! 寫中文信回台灣, 用文字描繪個故事, 捉迷藏似地放個玩笑在裡頭, 文字實在太有趣了. 活在異地,不知怎樣, 我對中文有種狂熱飢餓感.
回台灣後, 寫了四本書. 當時時報開卷版記者, 採訪後說我是, 從來沒寫作過, “一覺醒來”, 便拿筆開始寫不停.
的確, 離開母文化刺激我對寫作的愛火. 我問自己, 那麼多人出去念書出國旅行工作, 為什麼他們不寫呢?
細細回想, 花蓮女中的英文陳春雄老師是起蒙我對文學的關鍵 .十六歲的我, 被升學壓力擠得又反叛又苦悶. 陳老師朗誦一些優美有趣的英文句子時, 常會自顧自地笑起來. 他不必敲鑼打鼓告訴我們, 文學有多重要多迷人. 文學讓他快樂, 那時的我已看到了. ….
在離開故鄉半個地球遠的荷蘭落腳近二十年。現在努力搏鬥的戰場是英文荷文, 我必須與這裡的人,這裡的社會溝通.
客家文化基因在我血液中,可能也被各種不同國際風暴撞擊得更耐,更韌. 我何其有幸, 出生在花蓮,在那段精彩的台灣轉型歷史中成長. 文學藝術美麗新世界飛得再高, 臍帶一頭還是要黏在雲海故鄉.
參 會場看板個人檔案
簡歷/文學繪畫雙創作: 1962年出生花蓮市. 中正國小,國風國中,花蓮女中,成大都計, 台大城鄉所碩士, 比利時魯汶建築碩士. 荷蘭海牙皇家藝術學院.
2000年後, 除了文字創作, 更用畫筆與色彩抒發視覺的故事. 於柬浦寨金邊, 台北, 阿姆斯特丹,海牙, 安思特,亨格洛等城市發表畫展.自2010年到2018年間完成巴黎,法蘭克福,漢堡,阿姆斯特丹,鹿特丹等9場全程馬拉松.肉身”運動”與受苦是目前畫作主題.
肆 會場看板所列作品推薦文
- 五彩梯上天堂(1996)
國立政治大學台灣文學研究所所長陳芳明:
這本書記錄兩個邊緣國家的城市故事;一個在亞洲的角落,叫做柬埔寨;一個在東歐戰火灰燼中,叫克羅埃西亞。…世怡以從容不迫的筆調,深刻記錄了她走過的每一寸土地…看著苦難的國家,想著繁華的台灣,她的文字攜來有力的自覺。
- 獻神的舞慾–吳哥皇城的美麗與蒼涼(1997)
雲門舞集林懷民:”徐世怡建築規劃的本行練就她一雙好眼睛,她把見聞,資料和感想織成抒情動人的文字,這一切簡直不盡人情得叫人抓狂!”
政治評論者南方朔:“徐世怡對這曾繁華的苦城作了極有意義的符號式閱讀…她相當精準的抓住了吳哥古王城的生命根本。”
- 流浪者廚房 (1998)
“漫遊與獨舞:一九零年代台灣女性散文論集”(應鳳凰, 黎俊宏;2007) 一書中指出 :
”長於旅行散文書寫的徐世怡,出版四本旅行體驗及留學見聞的著作,為當代旅行文學不可不討論的女性作家….旅行文學研究者討論徐世怡文章,幾乎一致強調徐世怡的”人文關照與人道關懷＂,成為她別於其他當代旅行文學作家的重要特徵……她寫道:<人類也知道”飢餓”是無止盡的宿命,但世上似乎跟本沒有一勞永逸的方法躲得過”餓鬼” 的糾纏.> 身體的飢餓每天重來,心靈的飢餓永無止境,人們成為餓鬼,也成為身上惡鬼等待吞下的食物.”
- 找不到家的街角(1999)
“聯合文學”:…不論是比利時僧院的椅子,花蓮鳳林阿公的雜貨舖,花蓮女中旁的美崙溪……,徐世怡以人文角度反思地景畫面.
2019 january 24
“Congratulations! You Find the way of Coming Home!”
Honored, Blessing
[Ygreck Shyu- Hualien’s local litererary author’s exhibition]
Center, Mrs. and Mr. Shyu (my parents)
Left : my uncle
1.Why me?
Half year ago, when the culture department of the Hualien county government contacted me about Hualien’s regional literary author’s exhibition, my first reaction was one of curiosity:
it is a big honor. Why me?
But why not me?
Hualien, a beautiful county in Taiwan, facing the Pacific ocean and backed by gorgeous mountains, is the place where I grew up.
For sure, my roots are in Hualien.
This author’s exhibition, taking place in the main library’s exhibition hall, is, in fact, one edition within a series of exhibitions. The Hualien County Cultural Bureau, bases this series on the Hualien authors list from the National Museum of Taiwan Literature, wishing to promote the writing and reading culture.
In short, the goals of this exhibition are, giving the local community pride from the regional culture, and let local writers receive honor.
Before me, more than 20 writers have been invited to be topic for such an exhibition .
During my high school in Hualien, the library was one the places where I could get some fun. Not all the books could catch my attention, but it was a space where I felt my colorful imagination could be connected.
After 30 years, I still like to hang around in the libraries, bookshops, and also in the outdoors to run, to sweat.
This time, I show my writing, and my running paintings.
I do hope to inspire the young people in Hualien: reading expands your vision, running makes you human!
2. Talking to my hometown, talking to my past: a video
Not capable to go back to Taiwan to attend the lovely special opening ceremony, I made a special video for this exhibition.
You may not understand the language I was speaking, but maybe you can feel it is my connection to my hometown!
3. “Zen and running”: Chen,Fang-Ming’s comment
Prof. Chen, Fang-Ming(陳芳明), one of the prominent scholars in Taiwan, invited by the organizers, to my big surprise and thankfulness, wrote a beautiful exhibition introduction for this exhibition.
Based on more than 20 years of friendship and understanding, Professor Chen points out my zen approach to running with great precision:
“Ygreck combines her long running practice and Zen philosophy. The essence of three states; – seeing the mountain is mountain, – seeing the mountain is not mountain, – seeing again that the mountain is mountain again; this process of enlightenment is in fact, the channel every individual life needs to go through. Participating in races is no longer a challenge of physical ability, but a more profound practice of life.”
(她甚至把自己的長跑與禪宗結合在一起，從山就是山、到山不是山、再到山又是山的三種境界，那種覺悟的過程，其實也是每個生命所必須穿越。參加馬拉松賽跑再也不是停留於體能的鍛鍊，而是生命更為深刻的實踐。)
And
“Painting the poster for her 2015 Amsterdam marathon Expo, she identifies a complete new platform for her running and her art creation. This new Ygreck is unrecognizable for me, it seems she has become a stranger in another world; but I feel a sense of joy to see that she has deepened the transformation of her life with productive action.”
(她為二○一五年的阿姆斯特丹馬拉松畫出海報時，似乎標誌了她的身體與藝術又進入全新的境界。而那已經是我所不認識的她，縱然不認識，甚至近乎陌生，我反而有一種喜悅感，深慶她以具體行動改造自己的人生。)
4. “Congratulations! You Find the way of Coming Home!” :
Lin,Hwai-Min 林懷民, the world’s well known Taiwanese choreographer, replied to my email within 5 hours from Taiwan. After reading my invitation for this exhibition “Literature and me”, he wrote a witty sentence: ” Shyh-Yi, Congratulations! You Find the way of Coming Home!”(世怡,很高興你找到回家的路!”)
Yes, the simple words from Lin, Hwai-Min touch my heart.
Painting, writing and running is my new home, they make who am I now, just like Hualien is a part of me.
I cannot go back to the old historical Hualien where I grew up. Preparing for this exhibition was like a journey going to a new place, a bigger home. I share the new world of my creation in the location of my old home town.
‘Home’ is a place we feel connected to the other. Hard work , stupidity and pain are just there to make us human!
花蓮文化局辦 “花蓮在地作家圖像展”也好幾屆了.他們透過國立台灣文學館的台灣作家作品目錄系統中,找到我辦展.12 月10日在縣立圖書館(花蓮市文復路6號)開幕,展期至三月. 之後,將輪流在花蓮縣13個各鄉鎮圖書館展.
很容幸,能有陳芳明老師為我的展覽寫的導言.
Before my exhibition in Taiwan, it is a prilivige to have the recommending writing
from Prof. Chen, Fang-Ming(陳芳明老師).
重逢徐世怡
寫在”花蓮在地文學作家圖像展”之前
陳芳明
二十年可以改變一個人的記憶，也可以改變一位作家的風格。二十年前，徐世怡出版兩冊散文集，一是《五彩梯上天堂》，一是《獻神的舞慾》。最初這兩本作品都邀請我幫她寫序，一九九七年她與荷蘭的夫婿結婚時，還邀請我在她的婚禮講話。那時只知道她婚後就會前往荷蘭定居，那是我最後一次在台灣與她見面。這次她將在故鄉花蓮舉行展覽時，文化局的工作人員邀請我幫她寫推薦語，我毫不遲疑就答應。那時我很好奇，在天涯海角的她是不是還堅持她的繪畫工作，是不是還繼續原來的書寫習慣。文化局邀請我時，沒有寄來任何相關的作品與文字，而只是請我到網上的徐世怡部落格去閱讀。這種狀況也只有在網路時代才會發生。我終於找到網址點進去看，果然是熟悉的徐世怡，但也是陌生的徐世怡。
如今她已經是一位成熟的畫家，也是一位勤練長跑的馬拉松選手。她的藝術便是把自己的體能與智能完美結合在一起，而終於創造了全新風格。二○一三年的第一天，她留下這樣的文字：「繪畫，思想，跑步，賽車，傷害，生理信息的研究……是這個啟蒙時刻的成果。」當年她出版散文集時，總覺得她有點害羞，卻又常常微笑。記得她在第一本散文集，選擇兩個偏遠的國家柬埔寨與南斯拉夫（如今稱為克羅埃西亞），她想要去探訪受到戰爭災難的社會究竟發生怎樣的情況。這是非常不凡的選擇，她放棄了觀光也放棄了遊覽，而想要深入理解戰火廢墟中的人民是如何站起來。她到達最遙遠的城市，並不是為了旁觀別人的痛苦。她去觀察戰火下失去尊嚴、失去希望、失去名字的難民，為的是批判台灣飽食富裕的浮華世界。
曾經是內向沉默的女性作家，在荷蘭定居下來之後，逐漸搖身變成一位馬拉松選手。長途跑步使她開始認識自己的身體，也開始測量自己能夠承受的折磨極限。她有一篇短文是如此描述跑步狀態：「你可以學會注意自己的姿勢，讓胸腔張開更大，這樣你就可以以自然的節奏，吸收更多的氧氣和呼吸。你可以只用引力，你可以忘記它的存在，但你不會否認它確實有影響力。」這種長跑心得，也只有在每天的實踐中慢慢體會。地心引力無所不在，對跑者而言卻是帶來相當大的阻力。身體如何與宇宙循環共存，如何利用引力使自己持續跑下去，正是她對自己身體的理解，也是對宇宙中運轉的球體有更深刻的啟悟。
她甚至把自己的長跑與禪宗結合在一起，從山就是山、到山不是山、再到山又是山的三種境界，那種覺悟的過程，其實也是每個生命所必須穿越。參加馬拉松賽跑再也不是停留於體能的鍛鍊，而是生命更為深刻的實踐。二○一四年她參加巴黎的文森馬拉松，在最後十公里進入市區，穿越幾個上上下下的大橋，坡度與長度都具有挑戰性。到最後看到半公里的驕傲車陣時，她心中有說不出的暢快。人的體能追趕不上車的速度，但是參加馬拉松賽跑，卻能夠使整個城市的車子停下來。她的文字這樣描述時，不免強烈感受到這位跑者已經不是我所認識的徐世怡。改變世界有很多方式，改變生命也有很多途徑。她到達歐洲一個最開放的城市，開始改造自己的體能與生命。一個新的人格，就在她體內逐漸孕育而成。而這樣的人格也改造了她的藝術風格，甚至也改造了她的文字風格。
二○一六年她在東荷蘭厄洛市舉行「痛苦與遊戲」的展覽，在自我介紹中，她以第三人稱來形容自己：「七場西歐馬拉松比賽，包括巴黎文森、法蘭克福、漢堡、鹿特丹、阿姆斯特丹，讓她以獨特四十二公里路跑體驗各大城市風土故事。」她對長途賽跑的著迷，已經深不可拔。這樣的體驗，改變她自己的生命觀、身體觀、藝術觀。她終於能夠畫出「撞牆的藝術」這幅作品時，整個人生又進入另外一個境界。從前她造訪柬埔寨與克羅埃西亞時，她看到了戰火災難下的人民表情。但是參加馬拉松長跑之後，開始以跑步選手的身姿入畫。她為二○一五年的阿姆斯特丹馬拉松畫出海報時，似乎標誌了她的身體與藝術又進入全新的境界。而那已經是我所不認識的她，縱然不認識，甚至近乎陌生，我反而有一種喜悅感，深慶她以具體行動改造自己的人生。
旅行、長跑、繪畫，變成了她的生活節奏。她的文字、藝術與運動，已經昇華成為她生命的三度空間。在不同的維度，都具備許多深刻的吸引力。為她寫這篇推薦文字時，不免會想像再度見面時的感覺。也許已經全然陌生，也許還可以尋找到彼此熟悉的部分。最後一次看到她是一九九六年，二十二年已經過去，足夠改造各自的生命軌跡與身體容貌。當她在文字裡自稱五十六歲時，而我也跨入了七十一歲。在阿姆斯特丹的街頭，即使錯肩而過，也許不會相認吧。隔著如此遙遠的時空，我不敢說自己是如見故人。我比較相信的是，一位作家已經化身成為運動家，又成為藝術家。這樣的身分，確切定義了她真實的生命。她在地球另一端漫遊時，我也在島上的幾個城市漫遊。時間洪流改造了各自的旅途，空間移動更加深對生命的體悟。她的藝術作品將是我重新認識她的起點，歡迎她回來台灣，也歡迎她回到花蓮。
2018.11.23政大台文所
Talk about My Painting, Talk about Discomfort
In this group exhibition “Discomfort”, organized by ‘Kunst Non stop’, I talked about my “Me and the Public” painting, and the other art works.
Video 1: (chinese) 歡喜做 甘願受
Video 2: (in english) Willing to take responsibility, willing to take all the pain, willing to follow all the discipline, why? Because it is my choice.
Video 3: 綠色主義的盔甲戰衣
Video 4: 緊肉衣
2018 april 29
After 20 years, A Copywright Contact Brings Out a Surprise.
I can, I should call myself a writer, because I published 4 books in Taiwan.
After that, I lived between Cambodia, Holland, and Taiwan.
How are my books treated in the Chinese language society?
After the books were published, I vaguely remember there were different reviews, cited in an academic discussion about travelling literature in Taiwan.
Recently, through internet, I find some discussion about my books. I am still grateful and flattered that readers could see things in a new way through my books, through my words.
Some months ago, a Taiwanese publishing company contacted me. They want to get my permission in order to use about 250 words from one of my books for an examination book.
The target audience of this examination book is the group of 15-17 year old students who want to pass the Chinese exam, get a high score, and enter the good school their parents wish.
If you know the education in Taiwan, Japan, China.. the eastern part of Asia, you will be amazed how much time the East-Asian students have to study, compared to the youth in other parts of the world! They don’t only have to go to school to study, after the school they still have to go to ‘tutor school’ to get extra result.
a packet from Taiwan…
How do they use my 200 words in a question for the exam?
Of course, I was curious to see the format:
They put my text in the beginning, and ask “what does the author mean?”
The answer is multiple choice A:…, B:…, C:….., D:……”.
I was puzzled for quite some time.. I am not sure if I know the right answer.
I am the writer of the text, but the moment it becomes an exam text, I feel I am not confident to play the exam game system!
I am not a 17 y-o student any more, I am not the 30- year old writer any more, I am a 56 y-o woman now.
I have a lot of different challenges, in my daily life now.
To be an exam machine , to get a high score was the mission in my young age.
I think today I should not feel ashamed if I can’t do this Chinese exam and produce ‘the right answer’ .
Last week, they sent me the exam book and the answer booklet.
I was not eager to find the ‘correct’ answer of the question based on my text.
But I did chose a moment to open this package.
When Taiwanese students, nowadays, prepare for their university exam, they read this text, maybe they will be stunned by my way of thinking, writing, and try to find the original book to read. Or they may be annoyed by the dialectical way of writing. I expect that most likely these exam machines will quickly read my text, choose an answer, and move on to the next question.
Life is an open book.
A book is a book, it has its own life.
The fact that these exam teachers can still find my book….and make an exam question from my text shows that they are more than hard workers!
Please take this exam!
For the non-Chinese readers, I have translated the citation from my text and the exam to get an idea. (Please note that central concepts in this paragraph , like anguish, hungry ghost, ‘cause and result’ are written in a very Buddhist sense. )
Can you spot the right answer? I think I am not free to disclose it….
Below, it is my original Chinese text the exam book chose. And the A-B-C-D question. Ejoy your exam!
天天旅行並不是幸福的事，天天吃得飽鼓鼓也未必就活得免於恐懼，但有個爐灶可以讓自己腸胃舒展暢快，卻是我字典中「安居樂業」的基本定義，徬徨的心靈深處那塊 紅通通的熱源火心。
向人問候「吃飽了嗎」是個禮貌，問人「你健康快樂嗎」卻有點複雜。我們都是慾望的餓鬼，明知轉眼會是空，人間故事還是夾在炊煙霧海中揚起跌落。
世間一場場因果相纏的戲碼，慾望相疊、情恨互鎖，結成一個個故事。是空非空？ 是香是臭？是珍饈是毒藥？都是一線之隔。在命運還能磨動時，又有誰願意被自己肚裡 的餓鬼先一嘴嚥光？ （徐世怡《流浪者的廚房》）Traveling a lot, having holiday regularly, day by day, week after week. Is that an ultra-happy lifestyle? To be confronted every day with ‘all you can eat” haute cuisine banquet; would it make you satisfied?
No, that it not the same as a ‘anguish-free’ life you want to enjoy.
In my dictionary, the definition of “well-being” life starts from a warm stove. A practical kitchen offers the calm happiness to make my stomach relaxed and satisfied. The radiant stove is like a red heart, it heats up the lonely hungry soul.It may sound weird: In Chinese society, people may start the greetings from “Have you eaten?” It is a normal form of politeness. For me, to ask people “How are you?” is too superficial. To start asking about food, is just like British people start conversation from weather! Deep in our heart, we all know, when we are still alive, we are the hungry ghosts, tangled by craving. In the end, everything is gone to empty dust. Nevertheless, we are still willing to live our vibrant story .
The human world is woven by the scenes of cause and result. Craving and despair are overlapping, hate and love locked to each other. Is that a fact, or is it an illusion? It is gourmet or poison? Your belongings, are they your capital or your debt? They are separated by thin lines, sometimes, it is difficult to judge. Are you willing to be swallowed by the hungry ghost inside your stomach all your life?
(A) 根據作者所說, 人生最理想的狀態, 便是吃飽喝足.
According to the author, the best human life is having sufficient food to eat and drink.(B) 作者認為,心靈和肚子裡無時不充滿餓鬼, 解決之道是從因果上下手.
According to the author, our soul and stomach are full of eternal hungry ghost all the time. The solution is to tackle the ‘cause-result’ relation.(C) 天天旅行,並能天天吃得飽鼓鼓, 便可使徬徨心靈深處的熱源火心, 找到幸福.
By traveling every day, surrounded by nice delicious food, we can get the warm source for the lonely heart, and find the happiness for our life.(D) 作者認為, 口腹感官的慾望流轉, 既是世間因果相纏的故事, 不如趁命運尚在磨動時, 讓自己腸胃舒展暢快.
According to the author, the turmoil of our eating desire creates the circle of ‘cause and result’ entanglement. Before our life reaches the end, we should make peace with our body and it’s need for sensation.
2017 december 29
(Secret) of my Identity
徐世怡裝置藝展”我是誰?” 的冒險
藝展:荷蘭亨厄洛市圖書館(Hengelo)2017,11.1-2017,11.25
撰文: 馬克洋
With Marian van Tol
-
- THE ADVENTURE OF A WORK
- m.j. trapman
This is the story of a small installation by Ygreck, inspired by a small exhibition of containers by her friend Marian van Tol in the Hengelo Library, in a layered glass showcase near the entrance of the restaurant, as in a jeweller’s store.
Ygreck transformed the 4 layers into a discourse about identity, hot topic in The Netherlands as well. Top layer: title as well as key to the layers below. Next: two magazines, one in Chinese and one in Dutch (2 containers of concepts) covered with a portrait of Ygreck (The “I” in Identity). Below, the inspiration of this work, by Marian van Tol: a set of paper drawers, like the library catalog, making concepts searchable, creating order and dimension. Finally, base layer, a drawer opened – showing a set of concepts, as rocks in nature. Rocks that we need to build on. Naturally, the story is readable from the bottom up as well.
The fact that the installation was placed in the library – as context – was, of course, no coincidence.
Shown in the context of a shop, for instance, each layer would immediately disconnect itself from the discourse and become an individual invitation to happiness under condition of appropriation – buying.
Yet, the context of the restaurant works, in fact, as a kind of cross over, between library and shop, introducing the fight between delicacies and, again, isolating the concepts.
As a result and if we wish, we get to see the installation longing for a context that permits, or forces, each concept, each word, into a sentence. In fact the installation invents, or conceptualises its ideal context that would be something like a museum.
Nowadays the museum is often considered to be a place that one has to escape.
This work reinvents the museum as a place for ‘reading’, for consideration of identity as a story instead of a base for war and greed.
2017 april 2
Location:, exhibition above the corner bakery “Broodbode” (Haverstraatpassage 70), Enschede, the Nederlands
Event of Ygreck’s Exhibition:
Culturele Zondag Enschede, Zin en Zonden
Do I Own a Body?
Why I made this painting? In early 2000s, I had back pain, needed to visit fysio. I asked that fysio:” What is the most interesting thing of your job?” He said: “Sometimes people forget they have a body.” I feel that is a beautiful sentence.
____________________________________________________________
During the exhibition time, one of the visitors had quite some very sharp observation of my paintings. After 5 mintues chat, I politely asked him: “ I guess your daily job has nothing to do with computer, but … have something to do with human contact?”
He said, “I am a postman. Sometimes inside the envelop is good news, money, after they open the door, open the envelop, their face turn to a big happy smile. Sometimes it is bad news from the court, it is another story! Everytime when I rang the doorbell, waited outside, it always has a story going to happen!”
Yes, his job gives him a chance to oberve the human visual change.
He is more than a postman. In fact, a painter should also be a messager, bring a message to the receiver, and spread the message toa wider market.
2016 september 25
Event of Ygreck’s Exhibition: 25 Sep 2016 Culturele Zondag Enschede, Uitfestival
Discovery
wondering
“I want to see more”
explaining to the authority; Lingering Eyes Towards an Unfinished Business
2016 september 6
九月,荷蘭Hengelo 市立圖書館 “痛苦與競賽” ｡ 沒有畫展開幕儀式, 但特別的單簧管閉幕演出是卻讓人餘味無窮｡安德烈,我的鄰居好友, 著名國際單簧管好手, 東荷蘭愛樂樂團首席單簧管家｡ 三年前的眼疾奪走大半的視力, 他必須辭去古典樂團, 轉往即興現代風領域發展｡ 八年前的柏林馬拉松, 他跑三小時二十分｡還清楚地記得,五年前, 他完成三小時十二分的馬拉松佳績後, 我邀他與另個朋友週日早上一起長跑｡ 當時他调侃地說:”我老弟的成績是二小時五十八分, 他頂緊張沒多久我會超過他!”
跑步痛苦尊榮是這次畫展的視覺出發點, 他看到自己喪失大半視力後, 現在身處的肉身苦戰｡ 輕輕憂愁的單簧管應可以從荷蘭直傳到台灣, 你聽到他的低沉轉音後尊榮了嗎? 沒有經過痛苦磨出的歡喜戰鬥, 是有點無聊做假, 當生命無處可退, 這時聖戰號角也為你響起, 你聽到了嗎?
聽到很多不同的回響, 最讓我哭笑不得的是, 一位荷蘭朋友稍了電子郵件給我: ” …我們很喜歡你這次畫展, 畫風淋漓盡致, 配合你精心挑選的詩句 , 吸引力更強 ｡”
精確地說, 我不高興的程度是大於哭笑不得的心情｡ 這麼一字一淚寫下的字句, 我的字句,竟被他當成是去外面找來別人寫的字片! 如果照這邏輯,這些字是找來配畫,那麼這些掛在牆上的畫, 也可以說成: ”畫作色彩精彩,讓這個全荷蘭票選最佳圖書館的牆壁不會這麼無聊空洞!”
到底這些文字是怎麼生出來的? 用畫筆說故事時, 我常覺得,有想”寫”下那些感覺的衝動｡這種畫面帶出文字的互動 ｡ 幾年前,剛好次恰恰相反:1996年我開始寫,在台灣也集結出了書｡那時,面對電腦螢幕磨字時常覺得, 花這麼多時間描繪故事背景光線的溫度感覺….真累人,很想”畫”下那些感覺｡ 這次畫展的作品, 到底是畫面先, 或是文字先? 一點也不重要,反正它們是手牽手一起產生的｡最重要的是,畫與文字都我是我的作品, 它們是我的控訴,我對自己的心理治療｡ 反過來,它們對我產生的啟發, 讓我有更多理由看清台灣血液給我的是什麼成分, 也讓我與自己的過去可以坦白歡喜相看｡
My exhibition ‘Pain and the games’ had no opening ceremony;
Instead it had a very special closing performance by André Kerver, an internationally famous clarinet player, soloist with the East Netherlands Philharmonic Orchestra. He also ran the Berlin Marathon in 3:20. Three years ago he was joking that his brother, whose marathon PR was 2:58, began to worry.
But not long after that, he suddenly lost most of his eyesight, and now he is fighting with his body to regain his music as an improvisational artist. His music, inspired by h my paintings and is own history was a painful honor: his melancholic clarinet music should be able to pass from the Netherlands to Taiwan.
Can you hear how it feels to be forced with your back against the wall, to fight against emptiness? Can you hear the holy war horn ?
I wasn’t sure, in September after my exposition whether to cry or to laugh after a visitor’s friendly comment on the expressive power of the paintings and the good combination with ‘well chosen’ poetry.
To be honest, I was closer to anger and crying: these are my words, my sentences, but were read as if written by somebody else. In fact these words were painted by me as a part of my creation of the paintings. These words arose from the painting work, out of the movement of the brush.
It felt as if someone would comment on this Hengelo library (recently chosen as the best library in the Netherlands), that the colors of the paintings did wonders for its boring walls…
Some years ago, in 1996, I was devoted to writing books in Taiwan, in front of my computer screen, I felt like loosing time describing images and light that should be painted. The question whether words or image come first is irrelevant; they go hand in hand, they are my accusation coming forth from my personal introspection into the meaning of my Taiwanese blood. Through working on these words and the paintings I discover my inspiration of life and the ability to gaze at my past.
2016 august 20
A very friendly review in our Dutch newspaper. However, it is also a very shocking experience to feel how the world of runners differs from the rest of the world: Under my painting “Mad, on my four legs” the paper writes: “The nerve-racking seconds before the starting shot”… Anybody with any knowledge of running will see immediately that this moment can never be just before the starting shot… very interesting.
An article of the regions daily ‘Tubantia’.
人的一生有多少個人四年? 世界級體育好手摩拳擦掌, 不能太早, 不能太晚, 體能的巔峰就是要設定在取得進級的二O一六年初夏, 與八月的巴西里約熱內盧ₒ 大家撕殺競逐的目標是, 超越人類肉體, 技巧與意志力的最終極限ₒ
東荷蘭亨厄洛市的圖書館曾在二O一一年, 打敗個全荷蘭各大城圖書館, 票選為軟硬體最優秀的圖書館ₒ 配合奧林匹克熱戰, 八月五日至二十五日期間, 亨厄洛市圖書館特地邀請駐荷台灣畫家徐世怡, 展出一檔震撼所有運動迷深處的 ”痛苦與遊戲” 重量級系列ₒ
徐世怡, 出生台灣花蓮, 目前住於荷蘭恩斯赫德市(Enschede) ₒ 七場西歐馬拉松比賽: 巴黎文森, 法蘭克福, 漢堡, 鹿特丹…讓她以獨特四十二公里路跑體驗各大城市風土故事ₒ 台大土木研究所碩士畢業後, 轉往比利時魯汶大學取得建築碩士, 回台後曾出版四本以城市觀察, 克羅埃西難民營, 衣索比亞NGO工作經驗的文學作品ₒ
去年二O一五年十月阿姆斯特丹馬拉松運動展覽會場, 超過四萬名, 來自世界一百零五個國家路跑運動迷, 目賭到徐世怡 “撞牆的尊容” 畫作 ₒ 雖然有人故意輕描淡寫地說自己不懂繪畫, 對徐世怡而言, 看到運動迷面對她畫作的驚訝眼光, 下巴下墜, 她並不太意外 ₒ出乎她意料之外的是與, 阿姆斯特丹馬拉松主要贊助單位塔塔TATA集團總裁Natarajan Chandra的見面交談ₒ 塔塔TATA集團也是紐約馬拉松主要贊助單位 ₒ 他在層層保全戒護下進入有點擁擠的畫展, 拿出手機拍下徐世怡的背景簡介離去ₒ 二十分鐘後, 徐世怡畫品簽名海報的送到他手上, Chandra打開的話題從徐世怡最驕傲的柬埔寨吳哥窟文學歷史作品開始ₒ 事後她上網看Chandra 先生的背景, 才發現這位影響全球鋼鐵市場的印度總裁本身也是馬拉松跑者ₒ 他就像所有的路跑迷一樣, 知道徐世怡色塊下說的是什麼用生死都不能換的大感情ₒ
在徐世怡的這次展的畫品, 運動員飽受苦難ₒ 低頭跪地, 喘噓激戰, 初看或許要以為他們是戰火下的受難者ₒ 但他們享受折磨的決心這麼厚硬, 肉身又如此精準完美, 讓人也難以分辨他們是容耀的苦主, 還是外太空降世的超級第一名ₒ
”痛苦與遊戲” , 是個在八月在荷蘭發生的畫展ₒ 徐世怡, 是個在台灣接受教育長大工作, 旅居外地的典型勤奮 “台式華人” ₒ 藝術有國界嗎? 運動有國界嗎? 這畫展會讓你的二O一六年巴西里約熱內盧奧林匹克感動痛得更深, 懂得遊戲輸贏的細緻風景ₒ
徐世怡與畫展活動場地主任丹霓女士Mrs. Diane Wevers討論策展細節.
For athletes, the count down to Rio has started:
to peaking, not too soon, not too late.
This is the time of Olympus,
the hunt for the limits of human capacities.
The Hengelo Library presents5-25 August a special exhibition”Pain and the Games’ paintings and poetry, For everyone who loves sports
Taiwan-born painter Ygreck Shyu has run 7 marathons among which Paris-Vincennes, Frankfurt ,Hamburg, Rotterdam … and of course in Enschede, where she lived and worked for over 10 years now
In her paintings athletes suffer , they triumph, they kowtow, … their suffering is delicate, luxurious. At first glance they may look like war victims, but in fact they enjoy pain, proud after crossing their limits, in the pack of glory victims.
Last year, in October, 40,000 participants from all over the world visited her exhibition at the Amsterdam marathon. Even runners who considered themselves “culture blind” met these paintings and texts with glittering eyes and falling jaws , as expected. Runners understand runners. And, if by chance a runner is also a painter, running becomes more than a hobby.
For Ygreck, organizing the exhibition and including activities with it, is an honorable challenge. This library was elected in 2011 as best library in the Netherlands. In this modern building, the library is not a dusty room, no storehouse of bindings; in Hengelo, the library is able to offer excitement and fun into the lives of citizens.
2016 june 12
Mr.Wang Wei 王嵬, director/curator of the Dalian大連 Art Museum, and Ygreck Shyu
*What: the Opening of the exhibition..”Pure Tradition. Contemporary Chinese art from Dalian大連”.
* On the 31 May 2016, I met with Mr. Wei Wang, and his group of artists who are exhibiting in the Enschede National Museum (NL) at the moment. Mr Wang is head of the Museum for Art – project in Dalian and Dalian and Enschede are sister-towns. The exhibition to me is an interesting product of the politics that result out of cultural and of course economic relations.
Mr Natarajan Chandrasekaran (“Chandra”), CEO of The Amsterdam Marthon’s main Sponsor TCS, and Ygreck, visiting my gallery at the expo. Mr. Chandra is a marathon runner himself.
“…Congratulation on the very successful presence of your very inspiring art exhibition at the TCS Amsterdam Marathon this year. We enjoyed it very much.
Abhinav Kumar
Chief Communications & Marketing Officer
Tata Consultancy Services Europe”
This was a unique presentation of a small art-gallery at the expo connected to the Amsterdam Marathon 2015. Over 40.000 international runners visited this expo, many of whom visited the art-expo. Is was very interesting to see how these runners did really understand what this art is about, could empathize withe these paintings and even identify with them, children not excepted. These paintings, many of which seem to touch on despair, frustration, defeat and injury as well as victory, touch the core of the experience of marathon running. It was clear that it takes the experience to understand, and this made the expo in this particular frame very different from an expo in a normal art-gallery or a museum.
Ygreck Shyu (徐世怡), painter, born in Taiwan, shows work from the project ‘A privilege to hit the Wall’ on the occasion of the Amsterdam Marathon 2015.
She did so in a pop-up gallery, inserted in the Expo that accompanies the Marathon, as Expo’s nowadays have become intrinsic to all main marathons.
They are markets: runners, coming in for registration, will find every necessary accessory a runner needs: the newest shoes, luminous shoe-laces, electronics and GPS-systems, runners’ fashion latest, etc. These markets however, do not only show the latest products, they also, maybe even especially, show the runners themselves.
Runners do not look merely at stuff, but first and foremost, at each other. They estimate each other’s BMI, and carelessly drop the number of marathons they have been running before, when chatting about water bottles and leggings. Here they are at home, maybe more than anywhere else. This is the place where this exposition will offer runners an intriguing mirror for all serious runners – and all marathon runners are serious.
Here, in this market, Ygreck showed and sold her work: images of runners – exhausted, defeated, winning; the hunters of our days, of our culture.
Ygreck, fascinated by muscle, meat, hormones, is researching the disappearing borders between an elitist leisure industry and universal instincts of hunting and flight, between virtual status and real life sugar deficits and dehydration.
Ygreck comments on her painting ‘A White Day’ .
It is part of the project ‘ A Privilege to hit the Wall’ (撞牆的尊榮)
從透視的觀點看,是有些荒謬的。他們不是在月球上奔跑，也不是在火星上奔跑;方向不同，空間向度也不同。
Foucault說，”瘋狂”是否是由社會決定，從賽跑競賽,我明白了他。謝謝你，Foucault。你或許不會讓我跑的更快，更遠，但你幫我澄清一些基本的問題。
A White Day
120 * 100 cm
April, 2015, A morning I will not forget. A city, full of energy. What kind of energy?… Dare to create new trend, Fun-loving, Share, Dare to show the Arrogance (in the Markthal), Rude, Competitive, Want to live, Want to win.
2015 January 10
My essay “The marching Song of Soul Calling: my Frankfurt Marathon” was published in the Taiwanese on-line magazine “Sports Note”
Link to Essay
“瘦高長腿的電吉他手，挑出驕傲的一串金屬音色，橋頭的風變猛了， 我的心臟麻起來，一層雞皮疙瘩爬上手背。
主唱者「與大 風一起對天空控訴」的硬嗓音色，聲聲打進我的腦殼…，我宛如看到…他對著我們、衝著天際在招魂。如果女兒選擇跳河終止生命；如果親人空難落海，屍首無從找…我們相信，招 魂的儀式可以引導魂魄回家，投胎轉世。
心所深愛的人 呵，陰陽兩隔，千山萬里，今生緣已盡，為什麼要用恨綁死自己的雙眉？這段橋頭風中的「安魂曲」是我能送給你最後的禮物。小心過橋，一路請好走…。不要後悔，不要回頭，一路請保重…。
我這條馬拉松 路也不好走，還請保佑我這場戰役的成功。今天我不但奢求活在陽世，還要贏在陽世。贏得友誼、贏得正義、贏得真理、贏得勝利、贏過對手、贏得財務獨立；要的不多，只請保佑我贏在每一個當下。”
2014 September 8
My essay “原諒一個巴黎：我的巴黎文深馬拉松故事”(Forgive A Paris – on the Paris Vincennes Marathon) was published in the Taiwanese on-line magazine “Sports Note”
巴黎文深森林馬拉松最後十公里進入市區，幾個上上下下的大橋、坡度、長度都很有挑戰性。看到近半公里的驕傲車陣全停下來等我 們，心中真有說不出的暢快！
2014 August 23
My essay “一個都市間諜的漢堡馬拉松” (An Urban Spy – on the Marathon Hamburg) was published in the Taiwanese on-line magazine “Sports Note”
都 市存亡教戰手則其中一條就是：謹慎善用你的微笑。曾有個聰明的資深女演員這麼轉述導演要她入戲的要絕：「沒事別老掛著微笑 」。微笑不是壞事，微笑多了也不見得就會變傻，但你可以試看看，在大都市與陌生人四目相對，附加個微笑。如果地點與時段不對，再加上衣著失算，你頂有可能 被當成在街頭拉客的賣春女，或是賣大麻非法香煙的友善無賴。
不 過今天可不同，這幾個小時內，大家都領到「快樂執照」：微笑無罪，快樂有理！
2014, april 17
Innocent Dogs, Guilty Runner
What is the best friend of human beings? Food? Mirror? Dog?….., the cliché answer should be: ‘dog’. Dog is supposed to be loyal to her owner. Most of the time, it does not fail. It is nice to have a ‘friend’ who does not criticize you, just keeps a loyal interactive relationship with you. It is no wonder dogs are not only invited to live inside human society, even live inside people’s house.
My urge of understanding of dogs is not based on the adoration (or condemnation) of dogs, but is from the very need of keeping vigilance in order to avoid unpredictable hazard. Running in the streets, dogs are the living creatures I will be confronted with, sometimes. After making mistakes and conscious observation, I have tried to implant a concept in my brain in order to enhance my ‘street wise’ level: ALL the dogs are innocent; no matter what may happen, no matter it is a balanced dog or an aggressive dog, no matter it is a big size meaty dog or a tiny baby dog. They are born to use sharp teeth to eat, to bite, to play, to protect their territory by playing body language.
As a runner, the favorite type of dog that I would like to be confronted with is: when they see me, they just do not give me a second glance. They do not adore me, they neither look down on me, they simply do not care about my existence. I really love this kind of creature: follows his instinctive devotion, devotion to his exploration with his legs, physically. Simple-minded, tunnel vision, no shame to dig out the down-to-earth true happiness he appreciates. He minds his own business, I do my job, we do not need to play the fake power game in the street. He is a balanced dog, so he does not need to bite me; I (think I) am a mature human, so I leave my shelter to explore the surrounding. Two happy animals meet in the street at a safe distance, isn’t that a heaven-like picture?
Dogs do have the angel quality, but when some dogs see runners, the predator’s gene may be triggered. Legally, dogs can still keep their innocent label, no matter how they behave. The excuse is: they are born this way, ‘responsibility’ does not exist in their dictionary. If something happens, then who should be guilty? Dog’s owner or the runner?
* * *
Last summer was hot for quite some weeks. One day, I chose to train in a quiet road having about 800 meter length of shadow. From a distance, I could see an old lady walking slowly with her small dog. Wind breezing, she let the dog freely sniff without a leash. When the distance between me and the dog became shorter and shorter, the dog got more and more excited. Dogs are non-verbal, her excitement in a breezing hot summer shadow was also beyond what words could express….Imagine we let the musicians all drink two cups of coffee, then play Mozart music. How the melody jumps to the ceiling would be described as the cadence of that hyper happy dog.
Bright eyes shining, four little legs springing in the air, obviously the dog was convinced that I had initiated the love game and was running to play with her.
Breathlessly I said to the lady “alstublieft” (please). I meant to ask if she could recall her dog, it would stop the misunderstanding. To my surprise, this lady had no intention to stop her dog, but murmured: “Als je stil staat…” (If you stand still…)
At that day, the 6 times 800m interval was my interval training homework- every second counts, I was competing with myself. I did not want any set of 800m to be less(or more) than the other 800m. I wanted my body to learn the feeling of control, to feel my body just like a Swiss watch. It was really a very exciting training afternoon. When the lady replied to me with that sentence, I completely had not a second to think what it would mean. Running without obstacle was my only selfish thought. Words, logic, were too complicated for a sweaty machine to digest.
* * *
It took me some minutes to understand this thoughtful line: If I just calmly walked and did not run, her dog would not get excited, then I did not need to ask her to stop her dog. It implied, her dog’s nerve got aroused by a runner, it was normal. If this runner feels this normal dog’s reaction is problematic, in this lady’s thinking, this runner should solve this problem herself by standing quietly, NOT RUNNING.
Sometimes you can see small kids wanting to play with a dog, but when the dog chases after them, they get afraid and instinctively want to run away from the dog. The emotion of the kids goes from happy to fear, and an adult may try to teach the kids: “if you stand still, the dog would not chase after you. He just wants to play, he would not bite, stand still. It would be OK…”
I guess that lady’s sentence was based on this kind of experience and context. I did not feel her talking tone had any negative feeling towards me, it sounded more like a senior person who responses to a summon of help.
* * *
The scorching heat radiating from the drought landscape, the dense smell of the green shadow recalled a memory from the time I grew up. That was in Taiwan. Every summer afternoon, in the same kind of heat, that I (a teenager) wanted to go out to bike, or just go out of the house, my family (my neighbors, the schools, the village… the state) would tell me, “a good girl is not supposed to be outside. So many cars outside, so many bad people outside, why not stay home?”
If a girl fell from the bike, or got a bully from street boys, the parents could use this chance to teach the girl, “Look! outside is so dangerous, if you stay at home, you would not be so sad as now.”
Based on this logic, I have learned to do a spontaneous self-censoring job: “if I keep quiet, if I am good, trouble will not come to me, and I am going to be fine for the rest of my life.”
I can’t say that ideology is completely foolish, it grew at that time in that land, it has its cultural political context.
* * *
“In order to be human, we need to leave comfort zone.” It is a motto, most of the runners will know what that means, in terms of heart beat zone, aerobic and anaerobic zones. Pushing the ‘threshold’ boundary smartly with mathematical help, then we can be comfortable in a zone that, before, we felt uncomfortable with.
On a philosophical level, we also have a ‘comfort zone’ in our thinking style. This is a package of ideology that we use to explain things and to behave ourselves. The ideology can be injected from our social surrounding and implanted in the history. And the tricky part is, we would also spontaneously develop a coherent thinking package to dictate ourselves. As such, we would not feel we were ‘forced’ to be a good person. In a rather natural way, we just think it is we who ‘choose’ to be a good person and to behave good.
* * *
It took me, a pumping runner, some slow minutes to absorb the sentence ”If you stand still… ” to my sweaty brain and grasp what was the message she wanted to tell me, concerning the matter of her excited dog.
It took me another long time to ask myself why I felt so ‘familiar’ with the ideology behind this sentence “if you stand still…”
* * *
In my high school curriculum (between 16 till 18 years old), each week we hady
to spend 2 hours to study Confucius literature, including: Lunyu (Analect of Confucius), Mengzi. The name of this subject was: “Chinese basic cultural material”. Comparing with the other subjects (mathematics 4 hours, Chinese language literature 4 hours, English 4 hours), Confucianism had its importance. Sitting in the classroom listening to the teachers preaching, reciting those Confucian sentences in order to get high score in the endless exams, I never had any thought that I was being disarmed for real life.
Sit still, study, pass exams, get a stable job, be a good citizen. Stand still, follow what your leaders say. This was what I was taught to behave, this was what I did, this was what I was familiar with…
In order to be human, a person has to leave his comfort thinking, to challenge himself, and challenge his society. In order to be human, I need to go out of my door, to run.
Running, for me, is an excuse to hang around in the outdoor environment. In some way, running is a revenge for me. A revenge through which I accuse the history that fooled me so long.
Running, for me, is a guilty pleasure. Why guilty? Because I am doing a thing that was supposed to be not appropriate for me. Why pleasure? Because I can own my body.
A dog, specially, an innocent dog, would never understand the essence of guilt and the revenge feeling.
<<<
A Zen story and my running
Once, a young Zen-student asked his big master “Big master, tell me what is the Dao of life? What is the meaning of life? please tell me, tell me.”
The master shows a very gentle smile to this pink-faced energetic young student. And said: “Look! do you see the mountain there?”
The student put his head up, made his neck long.
“Yes Master, I see the mountain is there”
“Yes. That is. First you see mountain is mountain. Water is water. OK, now go to the kitchen, clean the floor, feed the chicken, and prepare for dinner”.
During three years, this student grew up to be a rebellious young person, he challenged the authorities, and got injury all over his body because of sport. He was also interested in geography,science, and art. He was almost interested in everything, he wanted to learn everything and anything.
One day, this student caught a chance to talk to the master again: “Big master, you have not yet told me what is the meaning of life?”The old master pointed to the mountain and asked him:“Can you tell me what do you see now?”
“People can say it is a mountain, but for me, this is a combination of clay and gigantic stones. According to last years report, this area is polluted by the chemical factory, so in fact, this mountain is a source of toxics…..”
The young fellow could not stop to sell his knowledge. The master had to interrupt him and asked: “Do you think mountain is still mountain as you thought three years ago?”
The young fellow replied assertively:” No, absolutely not, mountain is more than a mountain, in fact, mountain can’t be only a mountain.”
“OK, now it is the time for you to clean you reading desk.”
Another three years passed by and the big master approached the young fellow asking him, “ Do you still search the answer of what is the meaning of life? What is the meaning of Dao?”
The young fellow showed a slight smile; “ I am still searching the answer, now I see the mountain is mountain, and water is water.”
●
In my journey of running, the beginning impulses were:
I want to run, I need to run, I love to run.
Let me out of the door,
running is my human right,
I want my human right NOW.
In that period, I see the mountain is mountain, running is running.
After a certain time, I started to establish some interesting subjects around running: racing tactic, eating for special body needs, running technique, critical ideas about the gender issue in a running group. I did not only want to put my one foot in front of the other, I also wanted to compete and to win over myself. You may say, it is another stage: “mountain is not mountain.”
This series of painting “A privilege to hit the wall” was born after a natural result: after 5 marathons in 5 years and numerous “social” regional races in Twente and Germany, some part of my body simply needed a break .
Originally the title of this series of paintings was “ what do I suffer for? What do I stand for?” During the recuperating period, I knew that the suffering caused by running, or by sport in general, is in fact a luxury.
The luxury of being healthy, but also the luxury of being socially enabled. To finish a marathon is also a statement to say what kind of people I am, what kind of pain I associate with. In some way, you may say once you define this kind of “social package”, you find your identity.
Before, people found their identity from their family, from their neighborhood. Now, in the global society, where people flow to the city, it is more and more difficult to find an identity, to know who you are: your identity changes all the time. You don’t work in a job for 20 years anymore, today you have a project, tomorrow you don’t have a project. Maybe you get rich, or suddenly you have to live on social security. People get more and more uncertainty, anxiety.
So the sport does not only give a good body, it also has the function to give mental health, it is not only to break limits, it is also to get proof of who you are; that is what daily life does not give anymore. Every day is the same boring, the same uncertainty.
If you see humans in the paintings, you feel they suffer in a very delicate, a luxurious way; superficially they may look like war victims, but in fact – you can not say they enjoy suffering, but you can say the pain is a little bit fake – although the pain level will be high. But if we ask what they suffer for, we may find out that in a way it is rather empty. For war victims, or for farmers, they suffer because they want to earn their daily bread. Somebody takes their property, their house, and they feel pain. We call that ‘the real suffering’ – that is the basic line: suffering.
But here, the runner suffers, you can say they ask for it, they are proud about it. In the paintings, the subjects may look like war victims, but in fact they are aware they are proudly in the pack of glory victims.
Glory from action, addicted to glory. If the glory is productive to the runner and the society, maybe there is nothing wrong with being a full-time hero.
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The heaviest fighting is not only with your opponent, the tough struggle is not in the moment that you have to reject a cookie. Every superstar knows that to win, you should live in NOW.
Gravity : friend or enemy of a runner?
Nobody can release you from the power of gravity.
You don’t need to try to be a friend or enemy of gravity,
You even don’t need to have the intention to “live with it”.
It is like air, you don’t need to remind yourself you have to breath.
But you can learn be conscious about your posture, to have the ribcage open bigger,
Shoulders down, so you can take more oxygen and breath in a natural rhythm.
You can use gravity , you can forget about its existence,
But you would not deny it does have influence.
If you want to be a winner, a long time winner, not a gambler winner,
you know to put your energy and resources in a way to go with the gravity.
There may exist a fate which influences your winning and defeat;
does that mean your fate and genetic type is already decided, you can’t “turn the table”?
I do not know how much can we “go together or fight with the fate”,
but I do know you can enrich the right environment to let the “wanted fate” exist in your daily life
2013, march, 1;
What does “hit the wall” mean in running?
In endurance sports such as running, hitting the wall describes a condition caused by the depletion of glycogen stores in the liver and muscles, which manifests itself by sudden fatigue and loss of energy. To make matters worse for the marathon runner, the brain’s production of dopamine (the neurotransmitter responsible for generating feelings of excitement, reward, motivation, and pleasure) begins to drop even as serotonin levels are rising, which can be the cause of mental voices saying “I can’t do it”. Unless glycogen stores are replenished during exercise, stores in such an individual will be depleted after less 24 km of running. (Wikipedia)
In a simple language, the feeling of “hit the wall” is: after long long hours of sport, the sugar level in your body is dropping, you feel tired, no energy, empty, can’t think, run slower and slower…
身體累了，空蕩盪的。如果傾聽身體，你想停下來。
如果了解身體的血糖化學變化, 你能繼續與孤獨戰鬥。
要傾聽還是要理解，這是個問題。
2013, january, 23
A White Day
2013, january, 1
The origin of this project on Running
In June 2004 – Crete Greece, from the bus window I saw a female elite athlete doing a road running (maybe preparing for the Olympic).
The elite female figure was like a summer afternoon thunder, straightly hitting into the memory part of my brain, pull out my childhood dream.
Painting, thought, running, racing, injury, research for physio information….are the consequence of this enlightenment moment.
At the opening of the exhibition 2000, in Galerie de Keizerskroon, Amsterdam, |
Exposition of Watercolours and Pastels by Shyu, Shyh-Yi |
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BROUWERSGRACHT 118, AMSTERDAM. |